12 Ways To Show Yourself Some Love! [Free ebook giveaway]
Does V-Day remind you that you lack someone special, maybe love in your current relationship, or simply that you don’t have the most romantic evening planned? Whether you’re solo or a duo, do you let the flowers, candy, and romantic reservations make or break you? Think of February 14th as a day to Be Love. When you lack self-love, it doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, because that empty space will shelter loneliness, insecurities, and fear, leaving you unfulfilled. It starts with YOU! Check out these tips to show yourself what you’ve got.
12 Ways To Show Yourself Some Love:
• Education = Empowerment. How’s your perspective? Find a guru & check out their books, vlogs, & workshops. Pump up those mental muscles!
• Challenge yourself and get uncomfortable. Growth is waiting for you outside your comfort zone!
• Just go & get lost. Take a trip via plane, train, or car. Pick a week, weekend or day destination!
• Detox your mind, skin and soul with a spa day.
• Mentor someone. Whether you volunteer or it’s your younger sibling, inspiring others will ignite your own inspiration!
• Launch your passion. Stop feeding your excuses & start feeding your soul. Get out of your way & get into your life. There are 24-hours in a day so find 1 each day to create your plan of action.
• Rescue an animal.
•You don’t have to forget, but forgive someone. Be bigger. Not bitter.
• Let go of that unhealthy relationship. You are deserving, so stop being scared to put yourself out there.
• Take the day off. Do absolutely nothing! Tell your To-Do to take a hike.
• Stop the fake perfect BS. You have this one beautiful life to live honestly. Look in the mirror and repeat, “The real me is the perfect me.”
• Tell someone you love them. Say it and see what happens. You might just realize how adored you truly are.
Free eBook Giveaway: In honor of my V-Day birthday, the first 214 people to spread love by sharing these tips (post to Facebook, Tweet it, Email) will receive a free ebook copy of Fake Perfect Me! After you’ve shared it, visit Cari’s Facebook Page and post “Be Love!” with your valid email address so we can shoot a copy over to you!
To purchase the paperback or ebook version of Fake Perfect Me or read the synopsis, visit Cari’s Amazon page.
Share The Power Of A Wish!
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Ghandi
Happy Holidays! Every year, I choose a charity to pay it forward by making a holiday donation. My dreams came true in 2010 when I turned my new found passion for writing into my career. This transformed me into a person that now believes in turning “I WISH” into “I WILL.”
And so this year I will be supporting…
With this holiday seasoning and shopping frenzy approaching, I will be donating
100% OF THE PROCEEDS
from my books sales during December 2011 to this organization.
Whether you buy a book for yourself to cozy up by the fire or need gifts for your loved ones, your purchase will also be giving these kids with life-threatening medical conditions their wish. Whether it’s to be a zookeeper, see a princess, ride a train to San Diego, have a puppy, attend the Grammy Awards or even meet Michael Jordan, your purchase will help grant these wishes. I’m so inspired by their stories and the lesson in believing in your dreams.
The Make A Wish Foundation grants a wish every 40 minutes!
Purchase a copy of Fake Perfect Me on Amazon.com or www.carikamm.com between
12/1/11-12/31/11 and 100% of the proceeds will be donated to this organization.
Thank you all for helping me support The Make A Wish Foundation.
Paying it forward is the perfect way to kick off 2012!
May your holidays be filled with love & laughter.
Best,
CK
What’s On Your 2012 Resolution List?
As I head into 2012, my only resolution will be to CHOOSE happiness. Why can’t life be that simple? With every goal, obstacle, gain, risk, high or low moment that enters my life, I will bravely and simply choose happiness. By doing so, I will find and accept the positive and the lesson in the future moments to come.
So as you make your list of resolutions for 1/1/12, remind yourself that even with a New Year approaching, whether you attack your resolutions list on day 1 or day 21 or even day 361… the point is that any moment you can choose a new beginning. You can choose to be better, to gain perspective, to choose love, to switch paths, to forgive, and to even dream a new dream! I found these Eleven Hints for Life that I wanted to pass along.
“Eleven Hints for Life” – Unknown
1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.
3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose
it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been
missing until it arrives.
5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.
6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.
7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.
8. Always put yourself in the other’s shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.
9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.
10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.
11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Wishing you all a happy ending to 2011 and a fabulous kick off to a new year.
CK
I’m a skirt!setter
Hi Friends!
Beginning 9/22/11 for a period of time, I will be blogging over at skirt.com. Please join me over there! You can find me at http://skirt.com/carikamm
Thank you for reading and all your support.
xo - Cari
Skirt! is all about women…their work, play, families, creativity, style, health and wealth, bodies and souls. Skirt! is an attitude…spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent, sometimes controversial and always passionate. www.skirt!.com
We have a winner!
Congratulations to Stephanie Cudney for winning the character contest for my next novel! Her name will be used for a supporting character that is an inspiring mentor and true friend to my protagonist, Chloe Kassidy.
Stay tuned for details and release date. For more information on my upcoming events, projects, documentary, and new book release, visit www.carikamm.com. Also, to receive 60% off of Fake Perfect Me, visit www.carikamm.com and enter the promo LOVELASER in honor my favorite NYC laser spa company, Laser Cosmetica. (Paperback, $6.78 & Ebook, $1.20)
Also, I would like to wholeheartedly thank all the amazing guest bloggers who shared their love stories. Follow them on Facebook & Twitter for a daily dose of love, inspiration and laughter!
Author – Heather Hummel, “URDSIRE.”
Super Hero – Sarah Jamieson, “The Way of The Heart.”
Conscious Diva – Kate Muker, “The Source of Love.”
Singer/Songwriter – Skylar Peterson, “Music is Love.”
Moho Creative – Meredith Cooklis, “Labor of Love.”
Expert Matchmaker - Samantha Daniels, “The 10 Do’s & Don’ts of Dating.”
To The Rescue – Jami Hegrenes, “Coco’s Heart Dog Rescue.”
Chit Chat Cafe radio host – Lisa Bavuso Kocher, “My Secret Love Affair.”
President of Laser Cosmetica – Ryan Bloch, “I Love People.”
Thanks! CK
My Secret Love Affair…
My Secret Love Affair
by
Lisa Bavuso Kocher
I have been lucky in love… I have a wonderful husband of 24 years…. I have 3 incredible children, loving friends and extended family and a fabulous radio show. I also have a secret love affair with three men outside of my marriage… these men always make me smile…. I dream of them at night…they make me feel beautiful and sexy and I often sneak them up to my bedroom…
Their names are Jimmy Choo, Manolo Blahnik and Christian Louboutin, and they are major players in my love affair with shoes.
As a child, my mom always bought my sister and I beautiful shoes, so my love for footwear started at an early age. Every fall, we would get a new pair of casual school shoes and for dress we would get a shiny new pair of black patent leather Mary Janes.
Through the years I always kept up with the styles…. the 70′s…I had platform shoes in a multitude of colors and shapes…in the 80′s…. along with big hair and shoulder pads…. I wore Bandelino pumps… the 90′s while raising 3 kids…I wore cute flats… now that I am almost an empty nester… I have more time for me and I love spending time in fabulous shoe departments…. like Saks Fifth Avenue, Nordstrom and Barney’s.
Shoes can make or break an outfit, no matter how cheap your outfit. If you have on beautifully crafted shoes, you will look like a million dollars.
Shoes are better than clothes in that, no matter what your body type shoes always fit when you are trying on a magnificent pair of four inch heels. All of your body flaws are put on the back burner. That cellulite doesn’t exist, that back bacon that sneaks out under your bra is gone and you can look below your knees and feel like a super model! The only prerequisite to an amazing love affair is that you do need to keep your feet perfectly pedicured.
Red shoes are my favorite. They jazz up an outfit, they elude confidence, and they make you stand out.
Glittery shoes are also one of my latest favorites…they quietly scream out “here I am” “I am cool”….
Shoes these days are very expensive, but I think they are an investment. A work of art and I feel you only live once, so you should scrimp in other places so that you can afford the hefty price tag of premier designer shoes.
The average pair of designer shoes is about 800.00, but the investment is worth the pure pleasure you will feel and the happiness it gives to your soul.
Shoes are sumptuous heaven on everyone’s sole; a great shoe will add color, joy and extra pep in your step…. they will give you confidence…make you forget your body issues and make you feel beautiful… and how can you put a price on that???
I would like to introduce you to my “sole mates”.
http://www.artistfirst.com/chitchat.htm
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001773018774
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chit-Chat-Cafe-Live/173895255985793
Follow us on Twitter ChitChatCafeRS
*Enter to win a chance to have a character in my next book named after you! Join my page at http://tinyurl.com/44m6gpw and leave a comment on one of the guest posts on #Love. xo Cari #GreatestLoveStory
Coco’s Heart Dog Rescue
Today, I’m sharing a story about how dreams came true through love, dedication and determination. I wanted to include this as a post during my guest blog series of “The Greatest Love Story Ever Told Is Your Own,” as this love deeply connects three women and spreads love to animals and the people who rescue them.
I want to introduce you to Coco’s Heart Dog Rescue and three passionate women. Ashley (founder), Jami (board member & fundraising coordinator) and Jody (board member & cat rescue coordinator).
Ashley and Jami have been the best of friends since the age of five. “All of the most vivid memories that I have of our childhood involve her and I talking about something related to dogs! We would run around at recess and in gym class all the way back in kindergarten talking about how we wanted to start a dog washing business, or a dog walking business, or dog babysitting business–really anything that we could involving dogs,” Jami shared.
As kids, growing up they each had their own dogs too and they were the center of their universe. Jami had Sally (who lived a full and beautiful life and passed away when Jami was in high school) and Ashley had Coco. Coco was young when he passed away and it shook Ashley to the core. She was heartbroken and from then on wanted to do something in his name. The loss of Coco inspired the 12 year-old at the time to save other canine friends in his name and it’s in his name that this endeavor lives on.
Now fast forward into high school. Ashley, Jami, and Jody were three peas in a pod. Jody and Jami always told Ashley that they would be there for her and to help her in anyway they could when she decided to set it into motion.
In late 2009, the dream started to become a reality. It was last year when Jody and Jami each received a call from Ashley asking them to be on the board of Coco’s Heart Dog Rescue with her. She was ready to start up this nonprofit and to start saving dogs (and cats) and so the bond and passion between these three women continued. They rescued their first dog on May 15, 2010–which just so happened to be Coco’s (Ashley’s childhood dog) birthday. Since then Coco’s Heart Dog Rescue has rescued over 250 dogs and cats!
CHDR is run 100% by volunteers–that includes Jody, Ashley, and Jami. They do not yet have a facility and so all of the animals that they rescue are housed in the homes of amazing volunteer foster families. And just at the beginning of this year, they brought on three more highly dedicated volunteers (Daria- foster coordinator and Jess and Bryan- support coordinators) who spend just as much time as the three of them to keep the rescue running. All of the money that comes into the rescue is from events, donations, and adoption fees, and it all goes back out to save more animals.
Since the beginning, CHDR has been a growing effort with many of their lessons learned due to trial and error. One of the big things that Ashley, Jody, and Jami discovered early on was how their individual skill sets fit so nicely together such that they all fill a different role in the rescue. Ashley is the head of everything dog related, while Jody’s main focus is cats (although one of our rescue dogs stole her heart and now she is a happy cat AND dog mom), and Jami loves to focus her energy on planning events that incorporate the community and help to bring funds to continue their mission.
The animals are rescued from all over the place–high kill shelters, puppy mills, cities with pet-bans, etc. They are all brought into the rescue either by them or their wonderful and dedicated group of volunteers where they are given vet care, food, and are placed in a foster home until the animals are adopted.
On a side note, I would like to congratulate Ashley as she is getting married to her longtime love this weekend! Jody and Jami will be standing up with her as two of her bridesmaids!
Talk about a love story!
To learn more and support their mission:
Link to donate: http://cocosheartdogrescue.org/donate/
Link to website: http://www.cocosheartdogrescue.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/cocosheartdogrescue/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/chdogrescue
CK
A peek into my beauty black book…
I’m a self-proclaimed skin care addict. I love to research, understand, find and try it all. I love love love skin and use my Master’s in Clinical Nutrition to better understand the skin and ingredient technology rather than dietetics. I love the science behind skin. Did you know it is both a tissue and an organ? I love the breakdown behind formulas and ingredients. Before I became an author I worked behind the scenes in the beauty industry for the past eight years. It’s a natural love that began with my first regimen at the age of twelve with the three-step Clinique process – cleanse, tone and moisturize.
In honor of becoming a beauty ambassador recently for a New York City boutique med spa, Laser Cosmetica, and the approaching one year anniversary of my novel, Fake Perfect Me, I’m celebrating by offering 60% off the paperback and Ebook with promo code “LUVLASER” on www.carikamm.com! I have been a client of Laser Cosmetica since my early twenties and will be a client for life.
Also, here is a little peek into my beauty black book. For the record, if I were forced to choose one thing to take with me on a deserted island or in the middle of Iceland, I would choose the #1 anti aging and protector for healthy skin. Drum rolls please…. SUNSCREEN. Wearing sunscreen everyday (Yes, that is right, 365 days a year) and being consistent over time will correct and protect your skin and give you the results you expect. Sunscreen & Hydration are one high-powered couple that makes a great team!
These are my little tips to healthy skin along with product recommendations.
1 – Apply sunscreen everyday, rain or shine.
At least SPF 30 and the active ingredient must be Titanium or Zinc Oxide. My favorite is Skinceuticals SPF 50. It’s paraben and chemical free and offers a physical defense. There are two categories of spf – Chemical (absorbs while protecting, but burning and damage can still occur) & Physical (reflects to protect like an NFL defense lineup.)
2 – Never sleep on your face. Stand in front of the mirror, smash your hand into your cheek and look at the wrinkles around your mouth and eye. Imagine holding that for 6-8 hours and seeing what forms over time!
3 – Antioxidants, vitamins & minerals are your best friends! Protect your skin from the environments free radicals that cause damage down to the cellular level. Everyday I load up on vitamins and minerals by incorporating organic fruits and veggies, enjoying my adult gummy vitamins and sucking down a refreshing juice. My favorite blend is a beets, watermelon, raspberries, lemon and ginger combo! In New York City, I love One Lucky Duck, Blue Print Cleanse & the juice bars at Equinox gyms (19th street is the best)!
4 - The “D” word… Diet. Think of your skin as a mirror that reflects what is going on inside you. The cleaner your diet, the cleaner your skin. Remember, the skin is both a tissue and organ. I love juicing. Incorporating a juice multiple times a week to sometimes daily is life changing. In 50 sucks through a straw you can get a pounds of beets, a stalk of celery, lot’s of carrots, spinach leaf etc. etc. This was a real life changer for me. It allowed me to see just how much my “D” affects my skin.
5- Ingredients! Just like a recipe calls for specific ingredients, your skin type does as well. Make sure you know your skin type i.e. Normal to Dry, Normal to Oily etc. before choosing your skin care regimen recipe.
6 – Dead skin = Dull Skin. I exfoliate 2 – 3 times per week. One of my favorite exfoliators by Laser Cosmetica is Skin Cosmetica’s Thermal Exfoliating Scrub. It really heats up and contains bamboo extracts. Another Skin Cosmetica favorite is the Calming Chamomile Q10 Toner. It is soothing, hydrating and leaves you glowing.
Another must-have is the Crystal Clearing microdermabrasion bar created by Lynn Lucka! This bar of soap is worth every bit of the $24.00 price tag. I kid you not, it is a microdermabrasion system for your body in the shower.
7- Watch the caffeine. It is a dehydrator. I will admit I’m a diet coke and Americano kind of girl (okay addict). The first step is admitting, right? Water is key and try to cut the coffee with decaf teas… Green and Black will offer you less risk of dehydration and a world of protective ingredients for your body. To begin your cutback, start replacing half of your caffeinated cup of coffee with decaf.
8 – Wash the day away before tucking yourself in. Bedtime is your skins perfect time to eat. All the ingredients you apply are absorbed even more while you sleep. When your body is at rest, your organs are at rest. The skin is not competing for attention and is able to feed off all the corrective and protective nutrients in your products.
9 – Zap. Zap. Zap. I love photo facials. Everyone I work with knows how much I love them as well (I tend to repeat myself a lot!). This no downtime treatment rejuvenates the skin by shocking the collagen and correcting any kind of pigmentation issue with the skin. Photo facials = GLOW. Laser Cosmetica has been zapping me for years. They are the only med spa I allow to touch me. Learn more about their services at www.Lasercosmetica.com.
10 – Smile. When you are happy, your skin is happy!
CK
*Remember to use code “LUVLASER” to receive 60% off Fake Perfect Me paperback ($6.78) and Ebook ($3.20) on www.carikamm.com.
The 10 Do’s and Don’ts of Dating
The 10 Do’s and Don’ts of dating
by Samantha Daniels
1. Do smile; everyone likes to be with a happy person.
2. Do give compliments; everyone likes to feel good about themselves.
3. Do put your best foot forward on each and every date; keep in mind that you only get one chance to make a good first impression.
4. Do wear something in which you feel sexy and good about yourself; trends are fine but not if they don’t look good on you.
5. Do ask a lot of questions of your date so that you seem interested in who he is as a person, however, make your questions fun so it doesn’t seem like a job interview.
6. Don’t be rude to the wait staff or people around you; this will make your date think that it is just a matter of time before you will be rude to him.
7. Don’t drink too much; it’s great and advisable to have a cocktail but make sure you don’t go overboard.
8. Don’t order water when the waiter asks what you want to drink; this will make the guy think you are not interested in him.
9. Don’t text or email while you are sitting with your date; excuse yourself and check your blackberry or IPhone in the bathroom.
10. Don’t talk about your ex incessantly; even if your date asks you about your last relationship, keep your answer short and general.
Samantha Daniels is one of the foremost Professional Matchmakers and Dating Experts in the country. She owns a bicoastal matchmaking company called Samantha’s Table (http://www.samanthastable.com) which caters to busy, successful professional. She has her own daily blog, Matchmaker in the Know (http://www.matchmakerintheknow.blogspot.com) and she is the author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker (http://www.matchbookthebook.com ). You can follow her on Twitter @MatchmakerSD and you can like her on Facebook at Samantha Daniels the Matchmaker
*Enter to win a chance to have a character in my next book named after you! Join my page at http://tinyurl.com/44m6gpw and leave a comment on one of the guest posts on #Love. xo Cari #GreatestLoveStory
Labor of Love
Labor of Love
by Meredith Cooklis
I am surrounded by love – within my marriage, my family, my friends, and even in my own career.
Growing up, I was always that kid with a video camera making movies. Whether it was funny newscasts, music videos or just harassing my family & friends, I realized pretty early on that I didn’t want to stop making movies. After finishing college I did what every film major does, I became a production assistant. My job entailed fetching coffee and blocking pedestrians from their destinations “we just need to keep the street clear for one more take, I swear!!!”. Every night I would come home from a 15-hour day and think, this just isn’t what I signed up for.
When my younger sister graduated high school, I decided to put together a video montage for her. I looked through hundreds of hours of home videos and thousands of pictures. Although it took lots of time and effort, I found myself enjoying the work. After it was debuted at her graduation party, seeing all of the huge smiles & tears of joy, I realized THIS is what I enjoyed about movie-making – to make people happy, to provoke emotion, to document REAL love.
After marrying my own amazing husband, we decided that together, we would start producing wedding videos. On their big day, we’re with the bride and groom from the early beginning of the day to the end of the reception. To be a part of such a special day with them is an experience unlike any other. We get chills following the bride down the aisle, teary when they tell us their story or read their vows. Sometimes at the end of the day, we feel like we’ve re-lived our own wedding (without the dancing & drinking of course!).
We didn’t want to be the kind of company that, like a factory, spits out 100 wedding videos a year. The thing that separates us from the others, is that we only take on 25 weddings a year. We get to know our couples – how they met, what they do together, how they make each other laugh – so that we can genuinely tell their love story.
We’ve learned a lot from our couples. One bride, in her handwritten vows to her new husband, said, “the definition of love is when someone else’s happiness becomes vital to your own”. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Another bride, in her beautiful vows, said, “I’ve always known that you were the only person who could look into my eyes and see my soul. Thank you for loving me”. Sometimes in marriage, you can get caught up in your every day life. Our weddings are a constant reminder to appreciate each other & continuously say ‘I love you’.
My great grandmother passed away when she was 90 years old. She was a teacher for most of her life – to both her students and her family. One of her biggest lessons was the importance of collecting memories. She left behind thousands of pictures and films that one can only term priceless. When we find couples that are unsure about getting a wedding video, we ask them, “if you were in your grandma’s attic, how would you feel about finding her wedding film?”. Most agree on the importance of preserving such a special day and I am honored to be able to provide that.
I feel so lucky to have such a labor of love (literally!). Not only do I get to document the blissful marriage of two people, I get to do it alongside my own true love.
www.mohoweddings.com
*Enter to win a chance to have a character in my next book named after you! Join my page at http://tinyurl.com/44m6gpw and leave a comment on one of the guest posts on #Love. xo Cari #GreatestLoveStory
Music is Love
Music is Love
by Skylar Petersen
I had just turned seven, and was sitting with my older sister Helena on the pink carpet of her bedroom floor. The door was shut and we were both silent. In Helena’s lap was a brand new Fisher Price tape recorder she had recently received for her birthday, and blaring from it was Whitney Houston’s new single, “Didn’t We Almost Have It All”. We listened intently, admiring Whitney’s incredible voice, and the gorgeous melody of the song. Naturally, as a second-grader, I was not exactly taking in the song’s heart-wrenching lyrics; it was the intensity and conviction of the singer’s voice that captivated me.
After a few listens, Helena began to belt out her version of the song a cappella, following along with the tiny lyrics printed on the cassette insert. She had a beautiful voice, and I admired her lack of shyness. Helena then insisted I give it a try, which I quickly refused, reminding her what she already knew: I was too shy for that. A few moments later, though, her eyes lit up with an idea: she suggested we take turns singing a Whitney Houston song a cappella (the person not singing would leave the room), and we record our renditions on her tape recorder. Afterwards, we would sit together to listen to and critique our recordings. I remember being struck by her use of the word “critique” because I didn’t know what it meant. I reluctantly agreed to participate, although I was secretly excited at the thought of recording. (You also need to remember that this was our very first tape recorder with a microphone and, at that time, it was pretty cool.)
That afternoon I discovered my greatest love: my love for music. As I focused all of my energy into creating the most beautiful sound I could possibly make, I was overcome with emotion. A need to express myself began pouring out from me. Tears began rolling down my cheeks, not from nerves or self-consciousness, but from the “spark” that had been ignited within me. I was surprised by the strength and power of my own my voice, and by the empowerment I felt when I was singing. Even the timid and insecure seven-year-old me liked what I heard.
Although I wouldn’t forget this day, it would be years before I would recognize its importance, and almost a decade before one of my private journal entries would evolve into my first song. Music remained with me though; I studied classical piano, clarinet, trumpet and baritone horn. Despite my shyness, I gradually began to feel comfortable on stage as a performer, and was particularly drawn to musical theater, where I was able connect with audiences, and still have the protection of ‘being someone else’ as an actor. The process of sharing my own songs with the public would remain very slow though; the thought of exposing ‘pieces of my heart’ to more than a few close friends terrified me. Thankfully, the spell was eventually broken my senior year of college, when an encouraging music professor bet me to perform one of my songs in a college wide talent show. (This was another turning point.)
Since then, I have grown into a confident and compassionate woman, and have developed an even stronger capacity to connect with others through music. I am a professional singer, songwriter, and performer.
As with most artists’ journeys, my path hasn’t always been easy; creating a life from music requires a tremendous amount of dedication, talent, resilience and optimism. There is no set career path or guidebook to follow, no routine hours, no guarantees, and no real days off. But even with many unknowns, and a life that at times can feel like a rollercoaster ride, my heart is always full of love. And where there is love, despite what others who don’t understand may tell you, there is no real sacrifice. The amount of personal satisfaction and nourishment I derive from creating music, and being able to connect with others through it, is an absolute treasure and a gift; it is the essence of love. And I can’t imagine anything being more important than that.
*Enter to win a chance to have a character in my next book named after you! Join my page at http://tinyurl.com/44m6gpw and leave a comment on one of the guest posts on #Love. xo Cari #GreatestLoveStory
Life is not an “Until Then”….
“Life is not an ‘until then.’ Life is happening right now, at this very moment.” – FakePerfectMe
As kids, we have things like security blankets; these temporary items to comfort us and afford us security. We attach ourselves to these security souvenirs to prevent or relieve us of anxiety. Never really dealing with what is causing the uneasiness or making us fearful because, let’s face it… we are kids, busy with imagination and what we want to be when we grow up, and when we fall we get right back up only to run faster. So why is it that as adults we hold on to toxic souvenirs that diminish our imagination, cause us to doubt our dreams and attempt to shield us from being hurt?
Several years ago I realized that I was holding on to toxic souvenirs (using sarcasm, telling myself I have no time, staying in a comfortable relationship, etc.) as an adult security blanket. I realized that in my early twenties I was using these excuses for why I was not living my dreams. For years I allowed these toxic souvenirs to prevent me from the life I imagined for myself, the life I wanted to create, the person I wanted to be, because I was scared of failing. If I failed then they would no longer be dreams. If I lost them, then what? So I lived in an “until then” state of mind. I won’t be happy, Until I have this kind of salary. I won’t be happy, Until I lose weight. I won’t be happy, Until I discover my passion. I won’t be happy, Until I find true love. I won’t be happy, Until I live here or travel there. My life was an “until then,” never putting myself out there and attempting to go after what I wanted.
My actions were not matching my dreams and this was my fault. The thought of failure paralyzed me. The excuses relieved my anxiety, but at the same time, caused it. I wanted to be fulfilled and not fearful.
I have learned that true sorrow is giving into fear rather than giving into living.
At times, I still have to remind myself to not let my defense mechanisms kick in to overdrive to protect myself and let fear take over. Who wants to lose? To be wrong? To get hurt? To feel, not good enough. To feel, that I couldn’t make it. I remind myself that something not working out means it wasn’t meant to be and none of the above. It wasn’t the right choice, job, relationship, literary agent, timing and that the right opportunity for me is still out there.
When fear comes knocking on my door, I welcome it. I’m no longer scared of it as I’m full of strength, hope and a true love to life my life. Hell, I will even invite it in for a martini. I’ve learned to embrace everything that comes knocking on my door of life. To trust myself. My truth is always on my side.
One of the greatest pleasures about living in the now is the heightened awareness I have developed about the things that inspire me to live my life. I see and feel life happening right now and all around me. Right at this very moment, at this very breath and blink. Living in the now and not the “until then,” has helped me go after and fight for all my dreams. To create a life of true happiness.
The first day of each month, I remember to check-in and see how I’m doing at living my best life. If my actions are matching my dreams.
Life is not an until then… Life is right now! What are you waiting for?
xo
Cari
The Source of Love
The Source of Love
by Kate Muker
For me LOVE has been an experience in which the meaning deepens as my journey continues.
It started off as chasing a fairytale fantasy to fill a void within me. In search of someone on the outside to love me because I didn’t love myself.
With my outer world being a reflection of my inner world I found myself attracting partners who shared this similar void and the physical manifestation was jealousy, huge control issues and mental abuse.
I remember always receiving really clear messages from my intuition but when I didn’t love myself I also didn’t trust myself. I continually dismissed this inner wisdom and allowed myself to be guided by my ego and fears.
There was always a tipping point in each relationship where the little self-love I had for myself was greater than that which I was receiving in the relationship and it would come to an end.
Finally after 8 years of this I decided to spend a few years getting to know me and exploring a journey of self discovery that my soul had been craving. It was not all peaches and cream but what I discovered was that love was not a fantasy that was created outside of me it was a fantasy that was created within me.
The mirror always existed and I attracted more positive, joyful relationships as I began to shift. Yet as I continued to immerse myself in a journey of growth the depth of love that I was looking for wasn’t reflected back to me and I knew it was time to move on.
I discovered that the greater the connection I had with myself, the more I could begin to embrace the good, the bad and the ugly. As a result, I had a much deeper connection to the meaning of love.
I realized that there was no boundary to the depth of love and that the more I peeled away the more layers there were. Love shifted from a word or an idea to a feeling described as a truth and knowing within me.
After lots of self-time, books, workshops and 3 months traveling by myself in Europe I became crystal clear about what I was looking for in a life long partner. I was happy in my life as it was, but knew that by having the right partner to share the journey with would enrich the experience.
I visualized my ideal partner, the type of interaction we would have and how an interdependent relationship would feel like. I created mantras that I would repeat every time I saw a sticker on my phone or computer and energetically told the universe what I was looking for by putting my profile on an online dating site. Within 6 months I had attracted my soul mate.
I knew the minute I met him there was something different about the connection we shared. Within a few months I knew he was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It’s been 5 blissful years, we just celebrated our two year anniversary and recently found out we are having a baby.
In my search for a fairytale fantasy I would always ask people who had clearly found their soul mate what their advice was to a successful marriage and how they knew the person was the “one”.
If I were asked this question, my response would be, “knowing you are with the right person doesn’t come from your mind it’s a feeling deep within your soul, it’s a knowing and a truth that touches the depth of your soul”. There is no pondering, questioning or rationalizing. There is a certainty, the same certainty you have when you get up in the morning and know your name.
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller
My childhood fairytale fantasy has come full circle, the only difference is that I went within to create the feeling and was then able to attract it from where I was within myself verse chasing it on the outside.
“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.”
Kate Muker
Co-Founder of Conscious Divas
Connect with me here:
Website: www.consciousdivas.com
Twitter: @katemuker
Facebook: www.facebook.com/consciousdivas
*Enter to win a chance to have a character in my next book named after you! Join my page at http://tinyurl.com/44m6gpw and leave a comment on one of the guest posts on #Love. xo Cari #GreatestLoveStory
THE WAY OF THE HEART
THE WAY OF THE HEART
by Sarah Jamieson
The way of the heart, the metaphorical heart, is the basis from which all love flows. Love is not merely a sentiment nor, merely an emotion. It is an ultimate truth, a mystery that lies locked within us until and given the right moment, the right chance, can be unlocked with great power – a power to direct; to build or to destroy. The question is who holds the key?
Like you, I have a story, a great love. An authentic love. One that asks you to embark on a great journey into your past, to ask yourself the very question… “what is love and where does it come from?” How do WE know WHAT love is?
The very meaning or expression of the word ‘love’ depends on who the heart beats for…
So who holds the key? The answer, is you. You hold the key, because you ARE the key, and your parents, the product of how you learn to use that very key. The door, when opened, is up to you to walk through. My story is not one of falling in love, or finding the one. In all honesty, I am single so please bare with me a mere moment. This great love story is about the learning of love and finding the meaning placed on the very word. It is my personal exploration of self-love and self-compassion. It begins with my mother.
At 3pm on July 31st 2008 the context of my world was shattered. Am accidental fire broke out in my mother’s apartment and for 8 hours I waited, with every incessive ticking of the clock echoing inside my head an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach grew larger. At approximately 11:01pm, the knock on the door came and my greatest fear was about to be realized. Four RCMP officers notified me that my mother had died in the fire, and to add insult to tragic injury, my childhood cat, Emma along with her.
My family tragedy made front page news, and a 6 month investigation would commence. Quid pro quo, the closing statement of the corner would report that carbon monoxide was the cause of death; however, her blood alcohol level was 56% over the lethal limit and toxicology showed three different types of antidepressants in her system. Her body was found on the couch, she didn’t suffer, she passed peacefully. To spare my family, I held this secret for nearly 2 years. The secret was that my mother chose her peace – my mother, who battled bi-polar disease and alcohol addiction for nearly 2 decades had committed suicide.
My heart was broken and with it my sense of love. I was numb, angry and I felt a deep dark void, which parasitically built an armor that was impenetrable to those around me. I was a complex web of grief, mourning and fear. I spent a better part of the next year, recluse from the world. Until one morning, I lay awake in bed and said…”Sarah, it’s about time you removed your head from you’re hind parts. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional… you’re NOT a hamster, get off the damn wheel already.” Literally, it was like something clicked inside of me.
That week I gave away 95% of everything I owned and took it upon myself to move into a small co-op on the (DTES) Downtown Eastside, Vancouver’s well known area of poverty, working women and addiction, to better understand the world of single mothers fighting to sober up and get clean. I had no bed and slept on the floor, and was content. I spent hours with many women who were struggling (not unlike my mother) to build their lives back up, in hopes of getting their children back from social services.
The grief of losing my mother combined with my time spent on the DTES re-taught me to love, as love is also synonymous with compassion; it stems from an understanding that all suffering (and joy) is connected and when we reconcile with it, we feel a necessary freedom to let go. More importantly, that everyone weak or small has value on this earth, and to love people is to celebrate and accept them. Thus we need to first celebrate and accept ourselves.
Rumi; the master of love and perisian poetry, once said; “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it,” has been one of my most fundamental mantras of the last year.
All of us at some time in our lives; carry within ourselves brokenness, open wounds, as well as darker corners of our spirit and version of ourselves, and we keep these hidden from the rest of the world. When we grow in the direction of freedom from loss, there is a progressive exploration or experience and love.
Human beings are all fundamentally the same. We all belong to a common, broken humanity. We all have wounded vulnerable hearts. Each one of us has moments of strength and moments of weakness, and it is at our most vulnerable, where that very door to love is left unlocked; where the question resurfaces….”who holds the key?”
To be liberated by the heart we unlock our own truth from the tentacles of chaos and loneliness, and from those fears that provoke each of us to reject love and build walls to prevent the possibility of love from even entering. It is about forgiveness and re-evaluation, and ultimately re birth.
On July 31 2011, 3 years after my mothers passing, I can say that love has come full circle. To know my truth, and to accept myself, is to be ready for love. Fact – I am single, but I am not loveless, nor am I lonely. Fact – in all my mother’s struggles, she was brave, courageous and as strong as she could be. She taught me to embrace my vulnerabilities, as much as my strengths. For that, I pay tribute to her everyday.
This, to me, is the epitome of love….that and the occasion Ben & Jerry’s, but that’s another story!
Sarah M. Jamieson
Philanthroprenuer. Compassion Junkie. Wannabe Superhero
Find me here:
Website: www.sarahmjamieson.wordpress.com
Twitter: @sarahmjamieson
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=552365408
*To learn how to enter your chance of having a character named after YOU in my new book see link: http://myemail.constantcontact.com/-Contest–Have-a-character-named-after-you-.html?soid=1104106720484&aid=k_mKZzlrstE xo Cari #GreatestLoveStory
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